#GBE2: No Time For Time

Some twenty-five years ago, at a time when I didn't know anything about brand names, someone gave me a Rolex watch. As an anti-fur, don't be ostentatious type gal, I had no idea of the cost or prestige of such a gift. My sister even poked fun–simple me wearing a showy piece of jewelry–as if I knew I had something of value.

Being that it is pretty, I wore it for over twenty years without ever servicing it or buying other watches. I justified it by thinking how in the long run, its cost might be equal to the purchase of multiple watches that break every few years.

The watch has never kept great time–always five minutes slow. Someone told me to buy some gizmo that will spin it twenty-four / seven since it's wound through perpetual motion. I never have.

Last August, about the time this school year began, it stopped. Not having the time to get to my jeweler, who's a good drive from home and closes early, I paid $11 for a slap-on watch that kept better time than my Rolex; but, it eventually rolled off its band and disappeared. I figured I'd use my Fall Break to visit the jeweler and get my Rolex back.

Come vacation, I drove down Poplar to the shop where I found a sign on the door, "On vacation. Be back--yep, you guessed it, the day my vacation ended.

After another month, we finally got the watch to the jeweler who sent it across the country for ridiculously expensive services. I wore my watch almost a month, and then, the band broke. Back to where I started. Will I ever find the time to fix my time keeper? Maybe someone like me is not meant to wear a Rolex.

Writer's Post: It's About Time

Many folks fuss about how they never have enough time; and if they only had more, they'd _(fill in the blank)_. But in reality, we've met people who have plenty of time, and here's a break down of who they are.

The Hypochondriac

With massive amounts of time, this person frequently visits Dr. Google to learn about obscure illnesses they'll never get.  Next, they pop pills and revisit Dr. Google to figure out how to treat these diseases. Who needs real doctors to tell you you're well when you have Dr. Google around?

The Binger

When faced with nothing better to do, one will snack until the body looks like the hippo at the zoo. Then they'll find themselves running behind the fit runners just like a character from the stampede scene in "Jumanji."



The Shopper

When my mother–of blessed memory–grew old, she'd fill her time cruising the shopping malls only to return her purchases the next day. Hey! It gave her something to do.


The Pest

When busy, we don't notice little annoyances or choose not to address them because we don't have time; but in reality, most of these "problems" don't need attention. However, children certainly need an adult to hover over them and make sure they grow up  right. After all, why should they be left to solve their own problems when they have a perfectly bored mother? Mrs. Fix It will lend an overbearing hand to help everyone with their problems.

So in conclusion, I have all the time I need. With more, I'm sure I'd be 100% annoying instead of mildly obnoxious.


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Seven Wonders

Week #8—What are your 7 Wonders?

This week, the Writer's Post group has asked me to blog about "My Seven Wonders of the World." Long ago I wrote posts on the The Eighth Wonder of My World and Nudity and the Ninth Wonder of My World, since the seven wonders were already known. Please check these out if you get a chance.

Keeping with the assignment, here are my wonders from the serious to the silly.

Far from home. :(

1.) Where has time gone?

 My summer vacation is over, my youngest child leaves for college on Saturday, and I'll be fifty in December. Holy crap! Seems like yesterday I was riding my bike and getting in trouble for talking too much in school.

2.) Why do people allow themselves to be fooled by idiot politicians?

I remember a story from the Onion years back where they interviewed indigent people waiting in line to cast votes. The quote went something like this:

I ain't got no health care nor dental insurance, but it's gonna be alright because we have a God fearing man as president.

Our Lovable Rescue Rat

3.) How can some people not like dogs?
No one in the world gives me the unconditional love of my furry friends. Nor do people try to lick my face, Thank God.

4.) Why do people make fun of nerds?

As I've told my daughters, if you want a good life, marry a nerd. They are smart, kind, and will never let you down. I have a special love for the nerdy little kids in my gifted program, but believe it or not, true nerds are rare.

 In the spirit of Emma Lazarus, 

here is my adaptation of her poem:

"Give me your nerdy, your social inept,
Your huddled dorks yearning to excel,
The social refuse from cool kids.
Send these, the smart, tempest-tost gamers to me,
I lift my arms beside the classroom door!"

Although I posted the link below not long ago, it's a fave so here it goes again for those who missed it the first time.

Comedy Cental Hoodwinker

iris

5.) What's with the irises in my yard?

Last year they didn't bloom at all, while the year before they were splendid. Maybe they're tied to my mood or God-forbid the economy . . . which means I might not see them for thirty years--which bites because I'll be dead by then.

6.) Why do my feet dry out?

I'm forever saturating my piggies with lotions and lubricants, but danggummit, them scales keep comin'.


7.) Why do some people (not to mention names - Mitchell Lansky) put toilet paper rolls in backwards? The paper should come from the top! Enough said.

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